I have been practicing and growing in nonviolent communication (Compassionate Communication ala NVC by Marshall Rosenberg) since 2003 and I continually am surprised (gratefully and pleasantly) with the depth of this construct to grow my heart and add richness to my life.
For instance, I recently pondered the idea of emotional liberation. Here’s how it works.
1. You are responsible for your own emotions and nobody else’s.
2. This freedom from being victim or judge allows you to fully connect with your needs and the needs of others.
3. The result is that you can live more fully, embracing choice and love with an ever opening heart.
I can think of numerous examples in my own life where I think I take responsibility for my own feelings, but deep down, I assign away the rights of my interior life to external stimuli. For instance I had a relationship with my mother growing up from which I have observed came much emotional bag gage. From a emotional free distance I knew of her struggles in parenting and in healing her own child-hood wounds. I thought I had moved from blame to acceptance in much of this. With my mother’s dementia in the mix I find that off and on I am triggered emotionally by her behaviors, which are unpredictable, and with words that are full of blame and anger towards me and others. Unbeknownst to me, I have been holding her responsible for my discomfort and this results in a distancing in our relationship. Spending time (meditation and journaling) knowing that I can choose how I feel I discover relief and a lightness of heart, that in turn opens up ways for me to relate to her with a caring heart for her and myself
Where in your life are you held hostage or hold others accountable for your feelings? Would taking charge of our own feelings liberate you in any way?